Talk:You Are Not Alone/@comment-24712996-20140510230918
Why Beyonce's latest album is my favourite and her feminist message behind it: My girl Beyoncé dropped a self-titled album and OWNED the new year with her undoubted brilliance. It would be an understatement to say Twitter exploded when she released SEVENTEEN new videos and of course everyone remained confined to their rooms as they played the tunes on repeat while failing to dance like Queen Bey herself - ER, BEYONCE DID YOU NOT KNOW I HAVE EXAMS TO FREAKING REVISE FOR THAT YOU WANT ME TO DANCE AROUND TO YOU?! My favourite song, and current anthem, is 'Flawless' as she's unapologetically acknowledging that she's been the best she's ever been while encouraging people to up their game to reach her level - there's something so wonderful about being like 'I'm a boss who's owning this whole industry and bow down to my awesome but you can be here too'...I WILL ONE DAY BEYONCE...once I learn how to sing and get basic co-ordination down. She's showing all the new kids how THIS SHIT IS DONE and she's stepping away from her usually modest self to praise herself because it's good to remind yourself of the power you hold once in a while. However, the bit of the song which caused me to freak out, and which NO-ONE WAS EXPECTING, was the fact she used Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie's talk at TEDxEuston: "Because I am a female, I am expected to aspire to marriage," Adichie says. "I am expected to make my choices always keeping in mind that marriage is the most important. Marriage can be... a source of joy and love and mutual support. But why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage and we don't teach boys the same? We to see each other as competitors, not for jobs or accomplishments which I think can be a good thing, but for the attention of men. Feminist: a person who believes in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes." PREACH IT. Come on, how many of us can actually relate to this? From a young age marriage is seen as the ultimate goal in life for a girl (I have so many friends who are mocked when they say they do not wish to marry) yet guys are always told to aspire to success in academics and the workplace - just take one look at the 'women's' magazines which place an alarming amount of interest in bagging a guy for life while men's are filled with ideas of sex and tips on being No.1 in their career. And the fact that the word 'feminist' is used in the song is pretty damn amazing considering how many pop stars are keen to distance themselves from the word, and it's cool if they don't identify as feminists as feminism is for everyone even if they don't get it, but there is something so refreshing as a young feminist to listen to that and be like for once a modern song by a mainstream artist which acknowledges feminism. HURRAH FOR US! Honestly, for a short time I was becoming disillusioned with feminism - not the idea or principle of it but the fact some feminists wanted to dictate what I could choose to address and this song, no this whole album, just made me want to ask them if they have dicks for their constant need to rein over feminist speech is an awful like the power they hate. Which is what Beyoncé is also doing. She is answering her feminist critics who are saying SHE'S NOT A FEMINIST, SHE'S NOT LIVING BY OUR FEMINISM. I cannot tell you how annoyed I was when I saw people dismissing Beyoncé as feminist despite the fact she's been way more embracing of differences than a lot of feminists who criticise her - the main voices in mainstream feminism are those of white, middle class, educated women who sometimes try to set a list of what is allowed in feminism and speak for the minorities instead of letting them speak up for themselves. Beyoncé is using her platform to discuss feminism through her music and she's sending out one clear message: I'm not doing feminism on your terms, I'm doing feminism on my terms. I've always loved Beyoncé, and while her previous songs about love are no less feminist, it is great to see her basically say 'I'm a feminist and I love my husband and my family and my career and I can have it all without needing approval from anyone.' A lot of people are hesitant of feminism because some wish to have a set agenda and this causes people to feel restricted, for example, I recently got into a debate online after a radical feminism told me feminists should ignore male victims of sexual assault when I pointed they also get ignored and used to age card to tell me I was too young to actually know what feminism is about. Now, feminism allows me the choice to discuss whatever I freaking wish and you only alienate people when you patronise them and try to get everyone to conform - if I want to discuss male victims then I shall, that doesn't make me any less of a 'feminist' than you. And Beyoncé isn't any less of a feminist for calling her last tour 'THE MRS CARTER SHOW' because it's her CHOICE to do that and with this album shows that SHE CAN LOVE HER HUSBAND AND STILL DO SO MUCH FOR FEMINSIM, and she's clear with her definition of feminism in the song with that sample of speech which IS what feminism is about. She even addresses this by singing "but don't think I'm just his little wife" and shuts up all those who are hating on her - ya got told. There has been feminist criticism of her for using her sexuality openly in her music videos, such as in the video for the song 'Blow'. We're shaming a woman for choosing her own sexual representation of herself and some have labelled it 'pornographic'. Er, what I saw of her videos was no porn...what type of porn do you watch exactly that you think that is it?! Wait till the article is over before you rush off to check *wiggles eyebrows suggestively* There is no sex act performed so I have no idea where that came from and suggest those people get down to Specsavers. To those who dismiss Beyoncé's hard work because she shows skin, a woman's talent means nothing if she's not covered up? It's quite sad we live in a world where females aren't allowed to be erotic without being looked down upon by other females especially, and empowerment doesn't come from being covered up or naked - its how I feel as an individual about myself and the world around me. It's kind of like being told I shouldn't wear that short dress because I'll look like a 'slut', isn't it? On the other hand, it can be seen that patriarchy seeks to portray women as objects only there for the pleasure of men yet I can't get my head around the idea we're meant to deny this side of us otherwise we'll be shamed as feminists. I've never seen feminism as being about oppressing your sexuality and Beyoncé is showing that sex is nothing to feel bad about, especially when a guy can sleep with as many girls as he wants and get praised yet a girl who displays the same behaviour is looked down up - it's ok if you have sex, it's ok if you don't as long as it's what you want. There's nothing at all feminist about telling a woman she's not allowed to show off her body, it's actually misogynistic to tell her you HAVE to do this. It's like you're telling her that she's committed a sin or something just like those who you're trying to throw off. Let's be honest, sex sells. And Beyoncé is being like 'I'm a career woman and I'm taking pleasure from exploring my sexuality and I'm going to own it all'. No, I am not suggesting that women use sex to advance themselves in work but Beyoncé expresses her sexuality in her personal life - for 'Blow' she's giving her HUSBAND a dance and what is the problem with that? HOW DARE SHE DANCE FOR HER HUSBAND?! Of course this is a tough issue because it's like where is the line drawn between a woman used as a tool for the sexual pleasure of men and her own empowerment. For example, in all the rap and hip pop videos a scantily clad woman is placed in the shot to fawn over the man and her body is slowly broken down visually by usually focusing on her lips, breasts and butt as she grinds. Some of the stuff, like, I'm pretty sure no-one would ever have guys do because the female gaze is hardly ever catered for, especially in those genres. Honestly, Beyoncé is taking control and doing it how she wants, just like how she does feminism. She's not portraying herself as being there for the male gaze as she clearly states that her sexuality is for herself, and for all those who are like 'HOW COME NO-ONE'S STICKING UP FOR MILEY AFTER THAT VMAS PERFORMANCE' when apparently she's doing the same then I have to say slut shaming is never ok. Never. But what Miley did in that performance was in a way market a black woman's sexuality from black women being used as props to the smacking of butts to twerking and suggested that they're only there to be displayed for the enjoyment of others (please read this http://groupthink.jezebel.com/solidarity-is-for-miley-cyrus-1203666732 for more on it for it explains it far better than me) while Beyoncé is showing she's in charge of it. And let's not forget that Miley danced around with a man to a song about blurring the lines of consent yet I did hardly saw any feminist call her out on this while quite a few bash Beyoncé for singing about consensual sex. Beyoncé explains that she "always felt in a sense I could not express everything. I’ve done so many things in my life and my career that at this point I feel I’ve earned the right to be me and express any and every side of myself" and she shouldn't be afraid of expressing her sexuality as no-one should have the 'right' control you in that way. 'Blow' is a song on the album which I LOVE so much for many reasons, the retro look of the video only being one because omg disco is making a comeback! At first when you see the word 'blow' you assume it's about the pleasure of a man yet the song is about a woman's pleasure and this is like never discussed. Come on, how many songs or movies focus on a woman's pleasure when even Ryan Gosling comes out in anger at Blue Valentine's NC-17 rating with the wisdom that: "MPAA is okay supporting scenes that portray women in scenarios of sexual torture and violence for entertainment purposes, but they are trying to force us to look away from a scene that shows a woman in a sexual scenario which is both complicit and complex." It's quite telling that a woman's pleasure is not portrayed with the same pride as a man's and the song differs from the norm. She says 'this is for all my grown women out there' like yeah I'M GOING TO TELL THEM THAT THAT IT'S OK FOR US TO LIKE THIS TOO. And in the song 'No Angel' the lines "I know I drive you crazy, but would you rather that I be a machine/Who doesn't notice when you late or when you're lying" stand out because she's saying (at least to me) that would he truly rather have her as a machine of a society who wishes to silent her and ignore his faults - she's going to call him out on his B.S. The song is just so beautiful because it's so relatable. It's about it's about liking someone who turns out different to how they were in your head but you're both flawed and that's ok because you're trying. Oh and the lines "know I'm not the girl you thought you knew and that you wanted/Underneath the pretty face is something complicated/I come with a side of trouble" really resonate as no-one is ever as they truly appear and I think it somewhat fits me as everyone is so shocked that I'm a feminist and I have all these complex and complicated thoughts and my refusal to shut up causes trouble...it's like Beyoncé knows me so well. And how great is the music video?! Beyoncé remembers her roots and takes pride of where she comes from and it's wonderful to see Houston featured as most stars try to forget their pre-fame days. However, there are faults in the album with Jay Z rapping the lines "I am Ike Turner…Baby know I don’t play. Now eat the cake, Anna Mae. Said Eat the Cake, Anna Mae" in the song 'Drunk in Love' which is about sex. Basically, Tina Turner's real name is Anna Mae and her husband Ike got jealous after a fan asked for her autograph so he tells her 'eat the cake, Anna Mae' and when she refuses he shoves the cake in her face and smears it across her face, and beats her vocalist who was there for them when she tries to stop him. The movie 'What's Love Got to Do With It' shows how she was raped and beaten by her jealous husband, and Tina Turner went onto to leave that relationship and forge a hugely successful career of her own though she says Ike haunts her. And it leads to me ask what is the point of it being in the song? It's meant to be about love and sex, which is all well and good, but was there really any need to put that one there? No. Instead of commending a woman who got away from an incredibly bad situation and went onto to become one of the best in her career you're focusing in a rap on her ill treatment? Perhaps it can be seen that the song isn't really about violence facing off against sex but more so about the violence IN sex. The title is called 'Drunk in Love' and could be to show that you don't make choices while under the influence for love is supposedly the guiding force and its how sex can sometimes get rough and begs the question that WHERE exactly do you draw the line between good and rough sex as well as sex and violence? It's like 50 shades of shit all over again with where's the distinction between abuse and voluntary submission? To be honest I'm not Beyoncé (that's pretty obvious) so I cannot say what was the point of this but I would like to think it was meant to get people thinking and talking about all of these questions and for us to imagine about how relationships like Tina and Ike come to be. It really didn't need to be on the album though. The song 'Blue' is dedicated to her daughter Blue Ivy who features on the track at the end. She's sharing another personal part of her life with us - motherhood. It's about a mothers love for her daughter and it just so sweet that I think I may be diabetic now (let's hope not!). And Beyoncé is a hugely successful woman but she doesn't feel the need to choose been her career and motherhood - she can have it all and I'm pretty sure that's what she wants for her daughter as well. She's taking pride in being a mother and letting it show in her work, and she's embracing and bringing together two worlds which are often pitted against each other. The song which really stuck with me though is 'Pretty Hurts' as it shows the we get so carried away with the idea that beauty somehow leads to happiness that we forget it really doesn't and it can backfire in a big way, and when she get's asked 'what are your aspirations?' and the slight pause and hesitation after like she's like 'what's beyond what I look like? what are my dreams for life?' The lyrics "Mama said you're a pretty girl/What's in your head, it doesn't matter/Brush your hair, fix your teeth/What you wear is all that matters" showcases the pressure many young girls face to have to just look pretty and get told that their thoughts do not hold as much value as their looks, and I once got told I should be more like other girls and focus more making myself look pretty than making myself smarter. That did hurt because it was like am I always just going to be judged on superficial things and the fact that they thought that's what 'all the other girls' wanted and did. Her silence after the question about her aspirations is telling to the fact she's never thought about it as it's always been about her outer experience and it shows the pressure she's been under her whole life to live up to this image. It's her way of saying she's doing things her way now. So, yeah, to everyone calling her 'unfeminist' let's not because she's trying to figure this out just like the rest of us and navigating her way through life while empowering millions of women. She's actually showing girls it's ok to want it all. It's fine to be a mother and to feel under pressure to be pretty and to enjoy sexy times with your partner and to be flawed and to realise your potential. We can be jealous. We can be flawed. We can be in love. We can be feminists. IT'S OK TO BE A WOMAN. And it makes me excited for what the future holds because I've been scared shitless of being a grown up and having to deal with grown up things but this is like love life and yourself, just not in public obv. Beyoncé is pretty amazing, she has her flaws but we all do. I'm so thankful for this album because it reminds me I can be all I want and a better woman and feminist and still freaking awesome. Thank you, Beyoncé.